There are two sides to motherhood.
One side shows an easy day. Where People will tell you, your baby is always smiling. Your kids will wake up like the world is made of fairy floss and you will go about your day as normal. You might be productive. You might even be able to put on make up and drink a hot coffee. Those days you feel confident and you feel like a good mum because everything is done. This is the side that you’ll see on social media.
The other side? Leaves you absolutely broken. Depleted and defeated. Your children wake up like they drank some asshole juice. Sometimes on those days you cry and some days you are wonder how you can be a better mum, because on those days you’re frustrated and angry and then you feel guilty and like you’re not enough because “no good mother should ever feel frustrated.” This is the side you won’t see as much on social media.
One is not better than the other, one does not supersede the other. Both are reality.
Good mothers get frustrated because they’re trying.
They’re trying to make their kid see that the world is indeed made of fairy floss… all while trying to entertain the other child, all while trying to clean the house, cook food, nurture their development. Do it all. But some days it just doesn’t matter what we do, because nothing can be done… and that’s okay.
We feel guilt because we love them, because no matter how much they push us or test us we want to be perfect for them.
But we are. We are. If we didn’t care nothing would frustrate us. If we didn’t care and love them so much, the days where they drank the asshole juice wouldn’t bother us so much. Wouldn’t leave us overwhelmed.
A good mother is both sides. A good mother has bad days and good days. A good mother feels overwhelmed some days, and on top of the world the next. A good mother feels inadequate some days, and like a champion on the other. A good mother wants to be around her child some days, and a good mother also has days where she runs out the door for some peace.
A good mother experiences two sides no matter how good she is, and that’s what makes her perfect. And in their eyes mumma, you are MORE than perfect