Last night I went to exchange something from Kmart. (The most magical place in the world)
It was a blissful experience because I was kid free, which meant I could look at every little thing in detail. There’s no place I’d rather be doing that than Kmart.
Maybe I’m a little crazy these days and I should learn to shut my mouth. Maybe I could have been nicer, maybe I should have kept my cool. Maybe I am just sick of these types of comments. Maybe, just maybe, I’d had enough.
So there I was. Minding my own business, when I heard the all too familiar wails of temper tantrum. I’d say this was the mother of all meltdowns, becausd this kid could be heard across the store. It went on as long as it took me to go from the baby section to the homewares, and there I saw her. A tiny little toddler, waving her arms and throwing herself on the floor. Bright red as if the whole world had been lost.
And there, her mother. Standing there staring at her, equally as red. Both beetroots that had been plucked out of the ground. One screaming like a mandrake. Standing her ground, the mother told her that it was time for her to get up. She looked like she was going to cry.
I’ve been there. Trying to beg a child to stop screaming. Worried about the stares. Worried about what people will think of my parenting. Feeling utterly helpless.
I made my way to her, went to support a fellow mother, tell her it’s okay.
Instead I was intersected by a couple, where the fella smirked at me.
“People can’t fucking control their kids aye” he said.
Loud enough so the beetroots (I mean mother and baby) could hear.
The couple must have thought I was smiling at them.
I said “and people can’t fucking mind their own business, and should shut their mouths”
I probably shouldn’t have said anything, could have gotten beaten up. But here I am. To tell the tale. And write an open letter to people who don’t get it.
Ya see. Us Parents; WE don’t need that shit.
You don’t know what we go through, when we are casually strolling through a shop, a park, or anywhere, and our dear child has decided that they’ve had enough, and are displeased by our actions so much so, that they act like an angry savage chihuahua. Foaming from their little mouths.
What do you want us to do? Keep them in sound proof glass cages so that we can contain them? Highly unlikely… (And probably illegal..whatever)
A child that is having a tantrum, does not equal a bad child, nor a bad parent.
I assume by your smug ass attitude that you are childless, and you believe you will be somewhat of an amazing parent with all the magical answers of what it takes to ensure your child never cries in public. And with that smugness you then criticise actual parents because they aren’t using the magical methods to make it happen.
They don’t use that magical method, because it doesn’t exist. Children can not be tantrum-proofed.
Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do. You cant judge a parent when you aren’t one, for the same reason I wouldn’t judge artwork when I’m NOT an artist.
Both are masterpieces that require personal and specific skill. One that as a judgemental onlooker has not acquired.
What could be worse is, you could actually be a parent. Having forgotten what this stage is like. You should really know better.Shopping centres are the boot camps of tantrums, it’s the place where tantrum skills are really put to the test. Fluro lights, colourful toys, chocolate and lollies…it takes a good drill Sargent to handle that swiftly and smoothly, and you mamma, handled it like a pro. I am glad we have a friend in each other now.