I have seen so many of these posts lately. Some of them truly pulling on the heart strings. I tag my husband in all of them and he never replies, just “likes” it. One day I asked him about it and told him the importance of taking a photo… he told me he knew it was, and that’s why he’s been taking the photo all along.
I expected them to be all happy moments, but I guess they showed what he saw. He saw the hard times, the frustrating times, the happy times and memorable moments, he saw all of me in my motherhood… and he didn’t capture what I expected to be me looking glowing and in the perfect angle, he got all of me in my motherhood… and as much as I’d normally cringe about some of them, no make up, unflattering angles… I realised how precious they were, even if my guts were hanging out or my Butt crack! I realised that’s the photos I want to look back on. Each of them told a story and he captured more than the photo – he did more than take the photo! He captured a moment… and for that I am forever grateful.
I had just become proud of breastfeeding. I was always proud but this time, I did it in public without a cover. I was riddled with anxiety that day, but I said to him, “today is the day I am going to breastfeed and not give a fuck what anyone says or thinks”… and sure I got some looks, but I fed my baby. That day was a win for me.
When toddler vs. mummy. Mummy never wins. He made me cry that day. He showed his amazing adventurous attitude that I couldn’t beat. I couldn’t get him to wind down and he didn’t like that I was trying so he grabbed my face and yelled at me. I cried. My son stopped and looked at me and for the first time he said “I’m sorry mummy”. I was always told it was wrong for a child to see your vulnerable, but that day I realised that it was okay because I taught my son empathy. He’s never acted like that again… well… not that bad ?
Another defeated day. I wanted to take photos with her because we had matching outfits, and I guess she had enough. She was teething and grumpy. I sat down, held her, and I sung to her. I didn’t move for hours. I learned patience that day.
My son had broke his leg, hence the hospital bed in the background. I was off antidepressants for 6 months and him breaking his leg sent me right back on antidepressants. For 5 weeks he had the cast on and for 5 weeks I was sad . They say you’re only as happy as you most misreble child… and my son handled it well but I was a mess. It’s never nice to see a child in pain. That day he had his cast off for two days. He said to me “mummy, I stand up?” , I held his hands and said sure, and i kneeled beside him until he felt confident, and he stood up. It was like being there for his first step again.
Having two children close together conjures up lots of feelings, will they get a long? Will they be best friends? Will I cope? That day I said to my husband, “I feel like a failure” because I was worried I wasn’t giving enough to both of them. He told me I was a good mother and that all I ever do is show them love so they’ll grow up to be just as loving… and right on cue, my little boy kissed his sister, and my husband gloated and said “see?”… it was the only time I was okay with him gloating ?
Ladies we have all been here right? About to get in the shower or in the middle of the shower we hear screaming? This was a day neither my husband nor I were coping. Both kids had a bath so it was finally mummy’s turn. Both kids hated baths then so when dad got them out both were crying. I thought it would be okay and he would settle them but the screams got louder when I was in The shower . So many times my husband has rescued me from these types of meltdowns. He’s the solid one, he’s the one who has the magic touch, and me? I’m the one who cries and isn’t cool in a crisis. But I turned off the shower, I wrapped the towel around me and I held that little baby until she was happy again… I was so calm I was shocked. I wasn’t even mad that I had to get out of my once a week shower lol ? my babies come first. I dunno, I was proud knowing that. And knowing that I could be the one that could rescue the Day for once. As a mother with PND, people will imply you don’t care about your children… but if I get out of a hot steaming shower you bet your ass I care. ?
A conversation before bed on the toilet, possibly the best conversation I’ve ever had. And ones I’ll remember and cherish for years to come. (I learned about stingrays and how they can fly over your head) my heart never felt more full.
So husband, and husbands (and partners) take the photo. It doesn’t have to be candid, funny or smiling, it doesn’t have to be the perfect pose or angle, it just has to be real…because you never know what it’ll mean to capture something for your wife/partner. You never know how significant those moments are, and how much they’ll appreciate it, because to us it means so much…butt cracks and all.