Should You and Your Partner Sleep in Separate Beds?

Should You and Your Partner Sleep in Separate Beds?

A survey by the National Sleep Foundation cited by the New York Times revealed that nearly one in four couples in the US sleep in separate beds or bedrooms. While some people may be quick to judge that sleeping apart will likely lead to divorce or separation, there are couples who also say that spending the night separately is a key to a lasting relationship. This article takes a look at the pros and cons of sleeping together versus sleeping apart.

Pros and cons of sleeping together

The Huffington Post talked about the benefits of sleeping together. Besides the fact that sharing a bed allows couples to easily engage in physical intimacy, spending the night together provides opportunities to connect with each other. Sleeping together also helps the brain release oxytocin which helps relieve stress.

Ironically, its downside is that one or both partners may not be able to get rest because of the other person’s habits or activities. This will not only affect their physical and mental condition, it may also cause marital spats.

Pros and cons of sleeping in separate beds

Like aforementioned, the main reason why couples opt to sleep in separate beds is that they are unable to rest well if the other person is around. Steady Health cites some possible reasons why couples choose to have this particular set up.

In most cases, it’s probably because one snores so loud that it prevents the other from falling asleep. Another possibility is that either of them is restless in bed, and rolling around throughout the night is keeping the other from getting enough rest.

The couple might have different needs as well. For instance, one may be sleeping better in a cool room, while the other is more comfortable with a warmer temperature. One may also be used to sleeping with the television and the lights on, while his/her partner prefers total darkness. There are also couples that need to sleep apart in certain occasions, such as if their child requires one of them to be present while sleeping.

Lack of sleep can affect one’s mood, and this can worsen over time. By sleeping separately, couples are then able to get sufficient rest, and this helps foster a healthier relationship.

Of course, there are downsides as well. For starters, they will need to exert extra effort to retain intimacy. Spending less time together might possibly create distance between the couple, too. Such disadvantages are among the reasons why some partners look for ways to sleep better. Leesa specified a number of these tips in a blog post including potential solutions to two issues tackled earlier: finding the right temperature as well as the proper level of luminance which you can both agree on. Then try to make adjustments individually so there will be less need to sleep apart.


There is no tried-and-tested formula for all couples. Sleeping Habits emphasized that you should find which setup works for you. After all, marriage takes a lot of work, and that includes even something as simple as your sleeping arrangement.

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