Postpartum sex 

It’s funny how people say your sex life will change after moving in, or getting married. My sex life was the same. It’s after kids that it all turned to shit.

When you’re so exhausted and the hair on your legs joins to your ‘flower’ and represents a jungle, there are no sexy feelings.

When I first started dating my husband, it was all amazing and passionate. We Couldn’t get enough of each other. Sex was spontaneous and anywhere. I also thought about it all the time, and was like a hungry lioness and my husband was my prey; ready to pounce on him at anytime. Now all I think about is how I can’t get enough of sleep.  Sometimes it makes me sad. A relationship isn’t all about sex but the closeness counts, and there is no time to be close. There is no energy to be close, so you just kind of forget to be.

After a whole day with two children, I don’t really want to talk or kiss or cuddle. I want to unwind. Most people want to chat but I just want to zone out for a few hours before bed.

Every night we always joke about how Dom’s  gonna feel me up when he comes to bed, to initiate nasty time, but apart of me is scared because I feel like I have lost my mojo.

Last night was nothing out of the ordinary. We brought up how we wanted to have sex again and this time I thought, ahhh fuck it, and took his hand and led him to the bedroom. The fear immediately crept into me. What if it hurts? i’m so unattractive…what if he thinks im flabby now?  what if I am too hairy? what if I don’t turn him on? When was the last time I showered??

I feel sometimes there is so much pressure to love our bodies as mums, but sometimes I feel unattractive and I have a pouch that looks like the shape of an upside down Mcdonald archers. 

Usually I let these thoughts run away with me and consume me so I don’t end up doing anything. I put it off with an excuse, but this time I thought…no. 

We laid in bed and kissed and I flinched at his every touch, worrying about how my body would feel or how furry I would feel. Or if it would be painful. Something in me just said to let go, and we connected on levels again that were very passionate. Without going into too much detail it was the Best sex ever ?

We stared at each other afterwards, and he looked into my eyes and said “I love you, you boofhead”.

We had been feeling like housemates for a while because it’s so hard to keep up with it all but that little bit of connection brought it all back. 

“I love you too!”

He felt like my husband again and not just the co parent. It was good.. I’d never say to do things you weren’t comfortable, but sometimes you just gotta jump in so you get passed the insecurities and fear.

Now I keep dreaming about round 2! The flood gates are open! 

I told him I wanted to write about this on my blog, and he said “no don’t talk about our sex life”, ha. Yeah okay Dom! ??

But seriously ladies, look at him, do you blame me? (Hopefully he won’t be mad now)

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