Parenting advice is a funny thing and after having two children, I am still given advice, so to lighten the mood from yesterday’s events, I thought I’d compile all the advice I’ve ever been given.
Make a birth plan but don’t have expectations because they won’t follow it. Be prepared for anything to happen but show them your birth plan so they follow it exactly, but they won’t.
Dummies are bad for their teeth but they prevent sids so use one to help them sleep but don’t give them a sleep aid because you’ll never get rid of the dummy which they’ll stop using when they’re ready. Instead of a dummy let them suck their thumb, but a dummy is better than thumb sucking but a thumb is good because they can find it themselves but you’ll never get rid of the thumb so use a dummy instead.
Put them to sleep in the same place but show them the difference between night and day by sleeping them somewhere different. Don’t use a rocker or the pram to let them fall asleep but teach them to sleep other places besides the same place by using a pram or a rocker and where you usually put them otherwise they’ll only sleep at home.
Co sleep so your baby will grow up happy but don’t ruin your marriage by having your baby in your room. Bed sharing is dangerous but other contries have been doing it for years so it’s safe.
Wear your baby but baby wearing is not ideal because they’ll get used to being held and you can never put them down. But if you hold them they’ll grow up more stable with anxiety because you never put them down.
Wake your child up at 7 to get them in a good routine but never wake a sleeping baby as routines are useless and too harsh on babies.
Let them cry it out so they’ll fall asleep on their own but don’t let your baby cry because it’s bad. Rock and pat your baby to sleep but don’t rock or pat them as that’s the only way they’ll go to sleep and won’t be able to self settle which they will learn on their own but you have to teach them by letting them cry.
Start solids at 4 months otherwise your baby will get allergies. Allergies are caused from feeding your baby before 6 months. Start on purée and increase textures to help speech, but they won’t talk unless you do baby led weening.
Ignore your child when they throw tantrums but get down to their level and show that you acknowledge their tantrums. Reward positive behaviour by ignoring negative behaviour but to grow up stable children you have to acknowledge their struggles which could be seen as negative behaviour, but if you let them get away with tantrums they’ll grow up unstable. Be your child’s friend but not too friendly.
Breastfeed, but your baby looks hungry so give them formula but formula is bad but they’re hungry and weight gain is slow so try topping them up. Breastfeeding is hard so try formula but don’t let anyone tell you to use formula or make you breastfeed. (For the record, I use both happily – lol)
Child led independent play great for a child’s development but if you don’t play with them and show them how to do things they won’t learn and develop.
Home school your children so they don’t feel the harsh pressure of the reward system but schools don’t use reward systems as they make your child competitive but rewarding them makes them strive for more and competitiveness is healthy. Home school is great but take them to mainstream schools so they have social skills and friends.
Germs are bad, so disinfect everything in your house so your children stay healthy but don’t use disinfectants because they’re unhealthy for children and germs are good.
Write a blog and share your feelings but don’t talk about your feelings on the internet because people will judge you but sharing your feelings will help other mums and validate your feelings.
Lol… No wonder why I’m crazy.
Have a great Tuesday (which feels like Monday or might be Monday if you live somewhere else) or don’t… I’m not sure anymore.