When I was 14… I shaved my eyebrows. Yep… shaved em. Granted I was trying to shape them, however the shape they seemed to resemble was the shape of sperm, a slim sperm who had been on the lemon detox diet…. those brows weren’t impregnanting no one! No one ya hear… and neither was I if I didn’t let them grow.
But they didn’t grow. They never grew back. My moustache grew, my leg hair… yep all grizzly bear there… but my eyebrows? Nada.
So I thought let’s join the colt of Cara Delivignenenennenenes and grow those eyebrows. I initially got my brows tattooed by a beautiful lady who did the feather technique on them… but unfortunately my skin just didn’t want to embrace them..I’m still going through puberty with my oily skin so it didn’t quite take and the brows faded… even though that lady did a fantastic job… my eyebrows were the sickness and my oily skin, the … bigger sickness
But alas, I found the cure… the powdered brow.. the block brow if you will, the cure to the oily/combination/dry/weird skinned people who want those perfect brows. I found it… and I was pleased.
So I contacted Georgie from Distinctive Features Cosmetic Tattoo and Beauty and I said “hey, can you make me look like uncle Leo?” (Guy above) and she said I can do you one better, I can give you Cara Delivigne eyebrows! (seriously how do you spell it? Cara della veeeeeeen… she’s a babe)
And she delivered…!! She BLOODY EFFEN DELIVERED… and I love my brows…
But like all things, it’s a process. So sit back, relax, and let me tell you what it’s like to get an eyebrow tattoo.
Firstly, you buy this thing called Emla cream. Emla is the name of an old lady with no teeth who bites you because you touched her cat, but you can’t feel it. Emla cream is exactly that, it numbs you… so when people ask me if the eyebrow tattoo hurts? I say nope! Didn’t feel a thing… and I mean it.. it’s the weirdest feeling ever… I was sure at one point Georgie was just shaving my eyebrows off…
but in order to get that feeling of nothingness, you need to look like this for an hour beforehand
I went and filled up petrol and this guy stared at me for a good five minutes before I said “I’m trying to stop the aliens from penetrating my brain”… I really believe he believed me… (nek minnut… I start a trend)
So I walked in and met Georgie and she examined me and drew the perfect-to-be eyebrows and then she noticed… my highbrow…
what’s a highbrow?
Actually funny story, I thought I had something medically wrong with me because my eye was sagging along with my brow, so I went to an eye doctor and after a good half an hour measuring my face (with a ruler) and looking into my eyes he said “your face is just sooo… it’s just so… it’s just NOT SYMMETRICAL… like at all. One side is smaller… so odd. But no, nothing wrong with you, just an odd face”
So thanks doctor…
But after spending a few hours with Georgie also monitoring my face and looking at me lovingly with her buzzing tattoo pen… she gave me this
She made me look like I wasn’t half surprised! And she did that by using the techniques she’s used for years and to also train other brow tattooist. She’s like won awards… can you tell I’m girl crushing?
So less than an hour with no pain, I undid years of overplucking and came back with fuller and thicker brows.
But I did go to work that week looking like Grover
Can I also add I went viral that week and the media used that photo? Ladbible used that photo of me looking like oscar the grouch… the comments that I “was so blind I couldn’t see a mouse because my eyebrows were affecting my vision.”
Well jokes on them because… well because I’ve got nothing…
But they also peel… and that’s weird, because you have chunks of your eyebrows falling off mid conversation. Not so good at work you see “well Karen the stock market is plummeting…. *chunks falls off* and so are my eyebrows” … it didn’t look good.
So 7 days on.,. And they’re perfect… and this is just part one, and I gotta say… I’m liking them!
Part two is a retouch and then voila, perfect brows!
(This is me tired and disheveled… but nonetheless… brows on fleek)
Now if you wanna win a voucher to go to your own brows, well looky here!