Today I learned there are 450 million people in the world like me.
350 million people who have felt depression, anxiety, who are schizophrenic, bipolar.
I know it’s easy to pretend it doesn’t exist or talk about our feelings. Easy to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist. But it does. There are a lot of us.
I know some days, I can be a cactus, the tighter you hug the more it pricks. But don’t stop loving me.
I know I can be difficult, too much to bear, hard to get a long with, hard to understand, hard to be around, too much to be around… Too much. But don’t stop loving me.
Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I act lonely, even though you are standing next to me. I feel lonely in my head. I’m sorry if that makes you feel lonely. Let’s be lonely together, and love me.
Sometimes I am insensitive, I say things that roll off my tongue about things that don’t even matter. I can be unloveable, but that’s when I need you the most.
On days that I am not coping, when I am withdrawn. I know I can be quiet and speak softly, so I need you to love me a little louder.
I am not me when I am anxious, I am not me when I am sad or depressed. And it’s not your fault I am any of these things. Don’t give into the frustrations that make you want to run away from me. I am trapped in a maze and I need you to be patient when I’m finding my way out.
I need you to hold my hand, tell me you’ll be there for me. Accept what I am going through is tough. And on days where I can’t see why you love me…
I want you to show me that I’m loveable even if I feel I’m not.