Love makes you fat 

No, this isn’t a before and after shot of weightloss. But it is a victory story. 

I write this from my heart. It hurts. 

On the left – This was my body before kids.

No stretch marks or scars from belly button piercings. A belly button that was high. A flat stomach. I was always on a diet back then. And this was the best diet I went on. I used to take photos of my progress. Uploading this photo wouldn’t be bad, it’s like me being in a bikini. It’s socially acceptable. 

I took progress photos because it meant I was closer to be a weight where I would love myself. I ate no carbs, and barely any vegetables. Just meat. But I loved it because I was losing weight rapidly and the more bones that protruded the more I valued myself. I ended up hating meat, and was always suffering from heartburn.  But still I looked at this photo, this image of myself, like I was fat. There was nothing wrong with the way I looked. My body was mine. 

No one else would have said anything, they would have told me I looked fit, that I was healthy. I remember people asking me what my excercise routine was… They admired me. I admired me! I bought a whole new wardrobe. I was so proud. I showed off my body. 

On the right is me now. Stretch marks. A droopy belly button. Thicker, not many bones protruding, but more dimples that represent cellulite. People don’t want to see this photo. All of a sudden is not okay.  It’s not pleasing to the eye anymore. It’s not a body to be admired. 

This body, it’s not a result of just meat. It’s a result of eating everything. Fruit, vegetables, carbs; pasta, rice, cakes, chocolate.. Sometimes 20 chicken nuggets. Fish… It’s not always healthy but 99% of it is. The nuggets are for when I’m tired.. Sure. 

The scars and stretch marks and jiggly tummy is because I made humans. I ate a little more cake, I drank a little more wine. I made mug cakes at 9pm and snuggled on the couch with my husband. But for some reason, I didn’t love this body. It’s sad. 

This body didnt deserve sexy underwear, or a new wardrobe. Sometimes I didn’t even want to take pregnancy photos because I was ashamed of how big I looked. I didn’t admire this body. 

I felt like people were forcing me to love my body. “You’ve only got one”… Well, I don’t care. I want to be skinny. But shit, when I was, I wasn’t happy. And I certainly wasn’t healthy. 

But you know what? I have achieved more with this body, then I have with my old body. I’ve eaten more good foods. I’ve lived more, I’ve given more, I’ve enjoyed more. I’ve made life. This body, THIS body should be celebrated and admired. 

I should admire myself. I should love myself. 

I get it now. Celebrating all body types. All body types and the stories that go with that body. Above all, THE person should be celebrated. Healthy bodies should be celebrated. Healthy should be what we strive for. Healthy minds, healthy journey’s and however that reflects on to our bodies, we should admire it.

I still want to look like the first photo, no doubt. I miss that body, it makes me sad. But I want to get there in a healthy way, mentally and physically.  I want to be proud and at peace with this body. And I want to like what I’ve got now.

 No.. I want to love what I’ve got now. 

No matter what size you are, a size 6 or size 60. You deserve to celebrate it. Sexy underwear AND a new wardrobe. 

So love your body, because you truly really really,  only get one! (In this life anyway 😉) 

And it’s STILL sexy to wear granny jocks! Woop woop!

Come find me on Facebook Here

Or Instagram and Twitter as @mum_onthe_run xx

93 Comments

  1. German

    For many of us the second full figure is much sexier than the thin one they are both beautiful in there own way But a little bit thicker is what half the men want and most woman feel happy there in the inside. What’s the point of being so thing when you can’t enjoy this world’s bounties.

  2. Ali

    I so hear you! Last year I split up from my husband……. Stressed and super skinny! Fast forward a year! I’m happily with my honey eating drinking whatever and I’m so happy! NOT a size 4 a happy size 8-10😎love your blog!

  3. Jackie

    This is perhaps the most inspiring thing I’ve read since I had my son almost 13 months ago. I’ve gained 50 pounds between living through a rocky 5 year stretch of being a USMC spouse and giving birth to our sweet boy. Not a day has gone by since my positive pregnancy test where I hadn’t wished I looked different or researched some new miracle diet to make me love my body again. But what you wrote is true, I’ve accomplished more with my mom bod than I did with the one before. Thank you for reminding me I should love myself for all it has done for me and my family. #momlife

    • Oh Jackie, thank you so much for sharing. You actually make me feel not alone too.
      You have! It’s tough, but just feel yourself with the good stuff and make good choices and the rest can just do itself. Yesterday I ate a salad *gasp* because I felt like it, not because I told myself I have to… You are beautiful and wonderful and you created life! That is so amazing and should be celebrated.

  4. You are gorgeous either way!! Would you consider writing a review on Lularoe clothing if I send you some pieces? I started with this company to help women of all shapes and sizes feel beautiful everyday.

  5. My 8-year old daughter asked me why my stomach was so wrinkly and saggy. I told her it was because I gave birth to three children and I would rather have a saggy tummy than not have her and her siblings! #loveyourbody

  6. Dealing with childhood sexual abuse, and the trauma that comes with the aftermath of this along with the physical, mental, and verbal abuse from my family, I have struggled for years with trying to be kind to my body, heal, reconnect with it and accept my body. It is still a daily struggle.

    Ty for your honesty.

  7. I admit that when I saw the photos and the headline, my first thought was, “Not another new mother telling the rest of us that we should be wearing our skinny jeans six weeks after giving birth!” Then I read the caption and the article and found it so truthful and refreshing! Thank you for reminding moms that enjoying babies and children is more important than the skinny jeans. Well done.

  8. It takes a strong women to write this article and I admire you for that!! I struggled the same way before I had my son I was never thin enough, but ever since having him I have a surge of confidence, I don’t care about stretch marks, extra skin and cellulite, as women our bodies can do the most amazing things.. thanks for reminding us all of that

  9. WhaleKiller

    Lol, what a delusional woman you are. But it is ok that you celebrate and cherish your body, just don’t ask everybody else to do it for you!

  10. Hello Laura .. I love what you wrote.. It really touched my heart.. I wish if all women would love their bodies whatever their weight was .. It’s really important for every women to understand that she is more than a number.. Thanks

  11. Cristi

    Thank you for writing this and putting it out there. We all (myself included) need to always remember, our worth is not measured by a number on the scale, the size of our clothes or the amount of skin that we may have sagging.
    There is not one person on this planet that is not beautiful in their own way. Just because we may not all look like what society thinks we should, does not mean we are any less beautiful.
    Who’s to say what beautiful is? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. God created us all to be different. Not to conform to what other people think we should be.
    Healthy should be our goal.

  12. I’m in the same boat. I went from being very thin and really enjoying my body and trying new outfits to being a pudgy mom who just wore jeans and t-shirts. I’m mostly okay with my body now, recognizing that I don’t have a of time to devote to trying to keep a 20-year-old’s body. Thanks for this post!

  13. although I admire your confidence and being comfortable in your body it still should not be an excuse. Staying in shape IS a daily struggle however if it were easy everyone would be doing so.Remember the example you will set for people.

  14. MommyToBe

    How beautifully written, you made me cry. I’m 7 months pregnant and have the same “body issues” as you. On one hand, I love my sweet big bump, it’s hiding a tiny human inside that I love so so much already. But on the other – I just don’t like the whole picture of me on the mirror and feel embarrassed for gaining weight not just on the belly but all over my body. And now is the time to feel happy & proud, not ashamed…

    • Absolutely. If you look around at people you’ll see most of us aren’t stick thin or gym junkies. You have so much to be proud of. It is hard, no doubt about it but you are so much more than, and I bet people look at you and think how beautiful you are

  15. I haven’t even had kids but just being with someone who makes me happy has caused me to gain over 2 stone in “happiness weight” – eating out more, drinking more, relaxing more.

    This is a great post – we all think a “hot” bod is the be all and end all until we realise that life is what matters and the bodies we reside in come second to the fun we can be having 🙂

  16. I tell people all the time “life happens”. But you know what, that body has more beautiful stories on it that I’m sure you would not trade for anything in the world. I would take that any day over a manufactured or tempered one. Beautiful story.

  17. Reblogged this on juantetcts and commented:
    As a person that has struggled with weight most of my life, I love her take on celebrating our bodies! More proof that weight loss is also mental, not just about what we eat, but WHY!

  18. This is such a wonderfully written piece and with so much honesty. I think it resonates to women of all size and shape but also mostly for young moms that still vaguely remember their “thin self” 😛 But you are right, we should love our bodies regardless of our sizes. If we can’t love ourselves then we can’t expect others to love us back. I definitely miss being able to wear a size half of what I wear now but I wouldn’t trade it in for all the beauty of seeing our children grow 🙂

  19. I love this! I can completely identify with this! In 2009 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and since I’ve been ashamed of my body! I think I needed to read this to know that I shouldn’t be ashamed of my mom bod. I’m happy and healthy and my daughter thinks I’m the most beautiful person. They always say that kids speak the truth yet we rarely listen!

  20. Love this post!! Love the message! My body will never be the same as my pre-baby body…but you are right, this body has lived so much more life…and has experienced so much love…Thank you for reminding me that it’s totally fine to be comfortable in my own skin, so matter the size.

  21. I LOVE THIS! So refreshing to hear a woman celebrate natural weight gain as opposed to lament over it. I truly believe our body is at it’s most beautiful we feel happy. Your article is a wonderful testament to this. Thank you for sharing!

  22. Johana

    Que identificada me siento contigo, y se que debo reconciliarme conmigo misma y aprender a quererme y aceptarme tal como soy .

  23. you look beautiful in both pictures Laura. I’m at the first photo stage of life. Not yet having children but my friends are around me and I’ve never seen them look more beautiful. I just hope I’ll love myself a little rounder a little bigger when its my turn to make humans . I’ve never seen any body shape as negative and I’m just naturally small all over. I wish more women would embrace each other whatever their size. I’ve had women tell me they hate me for being so “lucky” to be slim. Sometimes that’s not always a blessing either and I think to myself your the luck ones. Your bodies tells a story mine is yet to bare. One filled with love and laughter. With tiny humans that love you without condition and grew within you. That’s some thing to be proud of.

  24. alore88

    very inspirational and I can relate totally to this whole read. I have had two kids also and my body is nothing like it used to be, but boy is it worth it <3

  25. Thanks for posting this. I’m 57 but have always said what you said, but rarely see others reaffirming it. My Mom always told me you’ll never be the same after babies. Yet you do see people that have kids and look like they never did. It’s like a mystery, how do they do it?! But many people are NOT like that. As you said, they enjoy life a little, eat more, cuddle more, take care of kids…Thanks again for sharing NORMAL! 🙂

  26. Beautiful and inspiring, thank you for sharing 🙂

    …from one former body shamer to another. It’s a wonderful thing to realize health goes far beyond weight, but into healthy states of mind and spirit as well.

    Awesome job!

    Emily

  27. Reblogged this on kuwé jahé and commented:
    “But you know what? I have achieved more with this body, then I have with my old body. I’ve eaten more good foods. I’ve lived more, I’ve given more, I’ve enjoyed more. I’ve made life. This body, THIS body should be celebrated and admired. ” 🙂

  28. I think that title is eye-catching, it makes one read the article, but in no way are you fat now! And I really love your words, I think your post is inspiring. And what a super power to be a mother after all. Blessings to you and yours Laura.

  29. brianabutler93

    This was good. I think my body story is a little different than this. In my old body, i feel like i felt and looked better. I dressed cuter. I felt light, even though then I thought i was heavy. My family waited until now. when I”m at my biggest and unhealthiest to tell me i was beautiful and perfect before. They never told me that then. But I’m working on getting to something feasible. Thanks for the inspiration. Also if you’d like, check out my blog and let me know what you think. mybrianabutler.com

  30. Your body is beautiful, Laura! It may be “blemished” from years of being a human female and doing human female stuff, but it’s still fabulous and unique and worth every bit of celebration you can give it!

  31. Honey, good for you for writing such an honest post like this! I am going through the same thing but I haven’t given birth I just got depressed and my body changed. I like how honest you was is that you still want the first body and it makes you sad.. because nowadays people think if they tell you ‘oh good on you! you look beautiful’ that is suddenly going to change how you feel about your own body and you will just stick with it. All I know is being at a weight that you are happy with- not what everyone else happy with- is where you will be your most happiest! so strive for better and always be authentic to yourself! x

  32. This was such a lovely read, and I’m glad to hear that the concentration is on health rather than whatever society deems beautiful and sexy in whatever decade. You have wisdom and love to share, and I wish you all the luck in the world in your journey loving your current and future body! Celebrate yourself for all that you are… that is true contentment, happiness, and self-love! 😊❤ Thank you again for sharing your story. You really reached out to me. ❤

  33. boosh

    Amazing post , i gave birth six month ago and still want to get back to where i was but i need to thank and appreciate my body for what it done for me (holding a baby for nin months /giving birth and parenting ) i need to be less and less hard on my body , yes i need to take care of it but not shaming it ..

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