For the future mum’s of a baby and a toddler.
I applaud you.
You are about to welcome into your life two tiny lives at two different milestones. Two tiny lives at different stages of their lives. Each demanding and exciting and hard all at once.
You’ll soon know what it’s like to feed your baby in one hand, and feed your toddler with the other.
You’ll know what it’s like to run from a crying baby to a toddler, and back and fourth again. Holding one in your arms while the other pulls at your leg wanting to be in your arms too.
You’re going to feel guilty and happy at the same time. the guilt and the joy of giving your only love, a sibling. It’s hard. It’s exciting, and it’s a little bittersweet. I know the hug you give, as you kiss away your little one being your little one, as they upgrade to big brother or big sister status. You worry they won’t feel as important anymore, they’ll be left behind, and that you won’t be able to love both of them.
But you do. You love them both, and you love them both fiercely.
Every day you’ll juggle a mountain of tasks. A converyor belt of nappies, uneaten meals, breast pads and dirty bottles.
Oh Nappies! You’ll realise how fucking huge a toddler nappy is next to a newborn nappy – and you’ll feel like you’re changing an adult nappy. The size difference is madness, but It makes you realise how quickly time goes by. And your newborn will one day be as big as your toddler.
You’ll have a new found love for your toddler, one where you want them to know all they’ve achieved in their life has been a blessing to you.
But fuck, you’ll be tired, I know. You’ll be absolutely exhausted. But despite the exhaustion youll give every inch of yourself to truly love each one of your children. You’ll have given up every free moment to be go go go, just so they can be loved. So don’t ever doubt that.
Nap times wont coincide anymore for your break times, for now anyway, and you don’t have any more moments to yourself, and that’s hard. A hot shower would be amazing, remember how you thought you couldn’t do it with just one? God one was so easy, what were you thinking? But hindsight is a beautiful thing, no?
Looking after two now is no joke, you need to take coffee straight into your veins, as the days of sitting and feeding for hours on the couch are long gone because there’s always toddler silence to investigate.
There will come a day when you’re brave enough to venture out. Your toddler will be demanding your attention, while you’re rocking your baby in the pram back and forth so you can give it to him. Tantrums will be thrown and baby wails will be so loud they’ll be heard across the world. You’ll swear you’ll never go out again and cry from sweet relief and grief because you finally made it through the door.
You’ll be up all night with one baby and up at the crack of dawn when your toddler decides 6am is the time to start the day.
There will be days where you’ll pull out your hair and scream at your toddler and cry to your baby and wish you could give it all away. But you won’t give up.
Take a deep breath.it won’t be like this forever. It goes so quickly, you know it does.
But there is good news, there are milestones, again. The first smiles, the first roll, the first crawl… The first time your toddler calls his sister her name. The first time your toddler looks at his brother and strokes his face. The first time your toddler gives a toy to her sister without being told to share. The first time your toddler looks at her brother and holds his hand.
But the best moment, the one where you’ll know it’s all been worth it, is when you see them smile at each other, when you hear them laugh together and laugh hard and their eyes are locked into each other, giggling with love.
My goodness your heart will burst with love.
And in that moment you’ll applaud yourself, because you’ve done a damn good job mamma.